I am rarely on the guest side of the podcast thang (I co-host a super dope literary podcast called Better Than the Movie), so I was HELLA excited to join two of my faves on their super dope podcast and talk #arthurladyperson business. Click the link below!
So, can I share something with you guys? We're almost three weeks out from release & I'm feeling a little better about this book and its release. There was a li'l bit of trepidation, y'all. *giggles* Some reviews have come in--most good, some constructively critical & I'm taking it all in. I'm gonna start writing again soon, so some of the criticism will be in the back of my mind as I put hand to keyboard. Not in a looming or ominous way, but more like...make sure you don't leave any loose ends that cannot be tied up in this book because we are through with this set of people after this book, ma'am! LOL
I recently went to a networking event a friend threw & I found myself talking about being an author more than anything else I'm currently working on (which...y'all I recently took inventory & ISSA LOT). It felt good to be able to talk to folks about my process, my books, and future plans. One of those MAJOR future plans is Baby's First Book Event™ as an author. (Shameless plug: If you're in the Atlanta metro area, come on out to Indie Love! Tickets can be found here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/indie-love-in-the-atl-2017-tickets-28541142325 Come on out so you can get a dose of my inappropriateness IRL) I'm very excited to do this event in particular because I attended it last year to stan out for my friends & enjoyed the time I spent there. The organizer Jos is dedicated to amplifying the voices of Black indie authors & look...I'ma be frank...there aren't many folks out there interested in doing this. In the era of diversity and inclusion you'd think. . .
But. Anyway. ANYWAY. This isn't about that. I titled this about having a secret, so I suppose I should clue y'all in to it. The secret is...I wasn't going to do this event, y'all. Or any events, really. I had all of the excuses as to why: "Girl you're not even a NAME in the community." "You only have ONE lil book. Ain't nobody coming to see you, Otis!" But then I decided that I reaaaaaally wanted to connect with people and talk about my work and their feelings and things of that nature. So I signed on to do, Indie Love...and a couple other events later this year.
I told someone at the event I attended that I mentioned earlier "I'm really fucking charming!" and I meant it so earnestly too. That wasn't just my leonine pride peeking through, I promise. I love meeting new people, cracking a few jokes, and hoping that I've enriched their day in some manner. I get it honest. My daddy is the same way. So I hope y'all will come out and get a dose of this charm first hand. I'll be handing it out in large doses not only in Atlanta, but New York and the Chicagoland area as well. I'ma add a section to this site for events with details for each. Hope to see you soon!
xoxo,
Nicole
I sit here having just hit the publish button on my second novella.
*sits back; takes that in for a second*
I did it. Again. (No Britney)
Y'all I would be a liar if I said this was an easy process. Not necessarily the writing...that was surprisingly simple. But the getting out of my own head. The not letting my fear of the sophomore slump overrule my good sense. The constant worry about "is this story necessary?" "does anyone care?" "what am I even doing?" & author me probably shouldn't be sharing this here, but I felt compelled to do so here rather than real me's personal blog. Because even if everyone who reads this book hates it, I did a thing to completion. I did not let it defeat me. Anyway...
ANYWAY.
Onto the title of this post...I have a very specific plan for how many books I would like to release this year and when. This book originally was supposed to come out on 3/31, but every time I thought about announcing that date it didn't feel right. A voice in the back of my head always said, "No matter how many people ask when is the next one coming; don't post it, Nic." (That's not a humblebrag, btw. I can count the number of people who asked that on my hands and have enough fingers left to hold a flute of rosé.) I didn't know why until one day I heard that same voice say, "The 17th is the day."
And now I know I may sound a little crazy, but the 17th of March is a special day to me. It's the anniversary of the birth of my aunt with whom I was very close. We lost her four years ago. She's always on my mind, the most innocuous things reminding me of her. There's even a character named after her in this book--an unconscious, happy coincidence.
So I decided to dedicate this book to her and release it on her birthday. Not because she was a reader...bc she wasn't. But because I know she would have LOVED this for me. Seeing me slide headfirst into my dreams and living my best life. So this one's for you, Pat! Happy birthday, you fuckin' leprechaun.
I've been thinking about this question a lot over the past few days. I had a conversation with someone a while back and they said to me, "Since when do you write romance?" My answer was...well, I always have. I've always written stories that have some romantic aspect, but for some reason or another they never quite got off the ground. I was so focused on creating a conflict or some other crazy backstory, that they just never quite...curled all the way over.
So I took some time away from writing creatively. And then I set out reading all of my half constructed pieces of writing to see where I'd gone wrong and if they could be salvaged and perhaps completed. In all of the stories there was a common theme--relationships. In some pieces they were familial bonds, but in most they were man-woman love relationships. And instead of just focusing on the relationships, I was on a quest to "dig deeper" to find the motivation behind acts and behaviors.
But that's not how I'm meant to write. It's not what I enjoy to write. In writing what I do, I do eventually explore motivations and such, but in all honesty? I love writing about love. I'm a sucker for a meet cute. Audibly squeal when characters realize their connection is more than a passing feeling. Revel in that first kiss, first declaration of love, eventual marriage and happily ever after.
And it's not some deep thing like "oh we rarely see Black love in media so I've been sent here to blahblahblah...". It's...just my passion. It's what I know. It's the only experience I feel connected to and qualified enough to tell the stories of. Slang based, negro nosed, Blackity black ass love.
So guys...the number one question I've been asked this week is "How does it feel?" This blog is an attempt to answer that...
Here's the thing. I was lowkey punked into publishing this book. I started writing to it prove to myself that I could start and complete a work in its entirety. Somewhere along the way it turned into this little story that I kinda liked, but didn't know if other people would. Then I shared it with my published friends and they liked it too...or were being nice to me because we were friends. I wasn't certain at this point. Then I let my bestie who isn't super into reading glance at the first two chapters and she liked it. And then I shared it with a friend who is an avid reader and semi-harsh critic and she liked it. By then I thought, okay...it's cute enough that none of my friends have said, "naw sis, hang it up"; maybe I should keep writing.
And I did. And got frustrated. Then had breakthroughs. And then finally typed the words, the end. That right there? Was enough for me, if we're being honest. I'd finally done it, after years of saying I was gonna do it, false starts, and bullshitting--I wrote an entire book (ish...novella type thing). Whew, I cried so hard after I typed the end. (If you follow me on Twitter, you know I'm heavy into crying...my emotions be so overwhelming!)
And then I sent it to my published friends and they said..."oh hey, this cute or whatever, but you ain't done." (Fun fact: The first completed draft of this book did not include the gondola fight in its entirety because I didn't like writing conflict. LOL). So I went back and I added and updated and edited and added and updated and edited again and then sat with the finished draft. I...well, honestly I was scared shitless.
What if no one read it? What if people did read it and hated it? Negative thoughts kept coming at full force until one of my friends said & I quote, "Oh bitch. Stop fucking around so I can buy this shit!" Profanity is my love language, so mere minutes after she said that I hit the publish button. And waited. Then felt immediate regret.
But then a funny thing happened. People who weren't my friends read it and...liked it. My friends who hadn't read it previously read it and liked it. The work was met with overwhelming positivity that made me cry so many times that I lost count, tbh. All of a sudden it was less the little book that could and more the little book that did. I'm completely blown away by the reception so far and honestly do not think I can put into words how every single comment, review, tweet, text, blog post, etc. has buoyed me over this past week.
I feel very Taylor Swiftian in my response when I see a new review that is glowing, but honestly I didn't expect fanfare. I didn't expect praise. I just wrote a story, hoping people would like it and if they didn't, they would tactfully decline to let me know. I was confident that I could write grammatically sound sentences, but was unsure of being able to write a story that would keep a reader riveted. So I can check that one off now. : )
The pressure is on though. I am currently in school full time, working full time, and allegedly beginning work on book two (Celena--not Cass & Ev. I don't think I'll ever write Cassett/Everidy, but that's a different story for a different day). I don't want to churn out something quickly to capitalize on this moderate level of success, but I also don't want to wait too long and lose my writing mojo. So I've begun outlining, have lined up a friend to bug about a hobby he shares with my hero and plan to tuck into writing soon.
But I just wanted to get this quick blog off to say thank you to each and every person who has read this book, whether you liked it or not, haha. I'm overwhelmingly honored that these lil crazy people inside my head are ones with whom you can relate and hope to be able to continue to write stories about our love that are both relatable and a little left of center.
xoxo,
Nicole
I set a very aggressive writing goal for myself this weekend. I began it with three chapters left in my outline and I wanted to be completely done with them by Monday. I want to be typing the words ~the end~ very fucking soon. So I'm fully immersed in writing, forsaking nearly everything else in my life so that I may reach this goal.
...and I'm scared shitless.
I've been writing and thinking about and researching this simple little book for so long and I can hardly believe it's almost out into the world. My anxiety is through the roof. I just want people to like it. I think I'm finally super close to the place where *I* like it, finally and I'm a harsh critic.
I always feel like I know what I want to write, but sometimes the synapses don't fire off what is seen in my mind's eye to the fingers to type it just right. So this journey has been full of hand wringing and frustration at not being able to get what I think are the right words on the page. Then I have to realize that the story will come out of me in the way that the characters move me to tell it. As much as I think I'm in control, I'm not. These fictional figments of my imagination are running the show and I'm at their beck and call.
But once I type those final two words I'll have finally done it. I will have completed an entire book.
Holy shit, I wanna vomit.
xoxo,
Nicole