last lil som'n of the year.

well, here we are at day 365/365. and i couldn’t be happier. whew shit. bitch i made it. i’d told my friend earlier this month that i wanted to write a new years novella. then i got SICK SICK and that went on hold. then an idea came outta nowhere and i let it blossom into this lil shorty orty that i hope y’all enjoy. let me know in the comments.

it has no title. hell the character barely have names. and most of the errors been cleaned up. :)

happy new year. see y’all in 2023. :)

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“Get your ass down here and save what you want, otherwise it’ll all be going to the dumpster,” was how I’d been greeted just a few days before Christmas. The plan had always been for me to make my way home and spend about ten days with my family and hometown friends and then return to my life back in the city where I currently lived. Initially I had planned on flying, but I was glad that my citizenship in Procrasti Nation stayed on the up and up since now I could just make the drive just in case there were things from my childhood home that I would want to bring back to my place. Of course I’d been home countless times over the years and snagged things here and there, but for the most part, the majority of my personal effects had been packed up by my mother long ago when she’d turned my childhood bedroom into a guest room in the house nearly a decade ago. 

 I’d been expecting a call about collecting my things to come in the new year since Ma had been hinting at her and Dad wanting to move out of the house in which they’d raised me and my brother for the past year. I also knew that she was famous for moving on her own timetable, so to have it sprung on me with no notice shouldn’t have been that much of a shock. Marianne Charles marched to the beat of her own drum and the rest of us were forced to either learn the cadence or stay off beat.

Apparently, she and Dad had already found, bid on, then closed on a townhome that was half the size of our family homestead on the other side of town closer to my brother Cade and his clan. Over the past few weeks, Ma and Dad had been slowly moving into the new place and getting the one where we’d made memories to last more than four lifetimes ready to be placed on the market for some new, young family to make even more memories. She had decided that she wanted the new year to be their new start, so the old house needed to be completely empty and ready for the cosmetic upgrades that they were making before putting it on the market.

I’d arrived on Christmas Eve Eve to a house that was half-empty, half-ransacked and given the mission of not only helping Ma get things ready at the new place for Cade, Jeanine, and the kids to come over for the holiday, but to also help her sort through the shit left in the old house to aid in the downsizing. So the majority of my time home had been spent doing manual labor. Of course, it wasn’t until I was damn near scheduled to leave that she actually let me get into the things she’d summoned me down here to really sort through. So here I was on New Year’s Eve, in my childhood bedroom bright and early, shuffling through an assemblage of storage bins that served as a retrospective of my formative years.

Happy holidays, indeed.

The plan had been to spend the most of the day sorting through this stuff, seeing if there was actually anything worth keeping, and then skedaddling my ass over to my friend Ava’s for NYE evening shenanigans. She’d gotten us some VIP tickets for some bougie ass party that one of her friends had put together at one of the new downtown boutique hotels. The name of the party was kinda corny, Bling in the New Year, but I had a fly ass dress that made me look like a “chocolate disco ball babe” in the words of Ava. I couldn’t wait to get champagne wasted, dance my ass off, and bring in the new year with my bestie. But first, I had to slog through this work. My childhood bedroom and one of the other spare guest rooms were the last that we had to get through, so I was in here while Ma took care of the other.

“This lady is insane,” I grumbled as I drug yet another bin from the closet in my childhood bedroom. 

I thought I was a packrat, but my mother had me beat by far. However, she was an organized as hell packrat, having sorted all of the items left in this house that were associated with me in any fashion into Rubbermaid bins, labeled by decade. I’d gone through the bins from my undergraduate and post-grad years already, not seeing anything in there that was actually worth keeping beyond a few pieces of jewelry that I’d completely forgotten had existed. Now I was about to start going through the bins that contained my junior high and high school days. I howled with laughter as soon as I opened the bin because on top was a picture from the post-prom trip that me and my high school crew had taken at Six Flags. Terrible hairstyles and airbrushed t-shirts were a-plenty. I snapped a quick pic of the picture and sent it out in a group text, joning on everybody in the pic, including myself. I was so glad to be loosed of the baby hair demon that had its clutches deeply embedded in me back in those days. The baby hair queen herself Candace Parker wished she was as cold with the baby hairs as I was back then. 

Tossing my phone onto the floor next to me, I took a journey back in time as I sifted through that bin. Getting lost in the memories of a time when life was as simple as trying to decide if I was gonna wear my KSwiss with a tennis skirt and polo on some preppy, Ashley Banks type shit or if I was gonna give the folks an Aaliyah vibe with the baggy Tommy Hilfiger jeans and oversized graphic tees. There were a shit ton of photo albums, littered with prints from disposable 35mm cameras which were my jam back then. I was a paparazzi ass bitch before the term had become commonplace. I spent way too much time flipping and sending photos of those pics to friends and family members, reminiscing on the good times in my past, some I’d completely forgotten, that they brought to mind. 

Naturally all of those memories were shuffled into the keep pile. I also came across the goo gobs of letters that my friends and I had written each other, pressing them into each other’s hands furtively during passing periods because God forbid we didn’t know each other’s most pressing thoughts in the class periods that we didn’t happen to share. I lost so much time reading and laughing at the campy ass drama we’d managed to create in our adolescence. Those WB teen dramas didn’t have shit on us, okay?

Once I was done sorting everything in those bins into keep and trash piles, then hauling the items to their respective places—the big ass dumpster my parents had rented for the move or the trunk space of my SUV—I hustled back up the stairs to go through the final bin, which contained things from my elementary school years. As I stepped back into the room, my phone buzzed and I picked it up to see a message from Ava. It was a link to a TikTok—I shouldn’t have been surprised honestly—that was like a sizzle reel for the party that we were going to tonight. Apparently the promoters did this annually in different cities around the country and our hometown was their latest place of expansion. I was already excited for the evening, but seeing the decor and the extraordinary number of fine ass Black people in attendance had me even more hype. I texted some version of that sentiment back to Ava before doubling back to TikTok and watching the video again. Naturally that led to me completely abandoning the task at hand as I mindlessly scrolled the app, laughing at the ridiculous things that popped up and scrolling past the cringey ass staged or curated content that always gave me secondhand embarrassment. I was about to put my phone down when the next video that shuffled on immediately caught my attention as the man in it was fine as hell. I quickly calculated his features, each one more entrancing than the next. Deep cacao colored skin. Low cut caesar with the deep waves. Bushy brows, with a scar bisecting one of them. Hooded brown-black eyes that pierced me through the small screen. A slightly crooked, prominent Nubian nose. Full lips that were a hairsbreadth lighter than his skin and surrounded by the faint scruff of a five o’clock shadow.

“Sheesh,” I muttered to myself, not paying much attention to the words coming out of his mouth until my eyes focused on a phrase in one of the captions displayed on the screen.

Future wife.

That was enough to intrigue me into futzing around with the app until his video was back at the beginning and I listened with keen attention this go around.

“Welp, here we are coming to the end of yet another year and here I am yet again wondering when my future wife is gonna appear. I’ve been searching hard as hell for you. And it’s rough out in these streets tryna find your ass, girl. But I ain’t giving up just yet. I know I’ll know you when I see you, future wife. On the off chance that you see this, I’ll be at Bling in the New Year on New Year’s Eve, looking forward to your arrival. Love, your future husband.” 

He ended his little impassioned speech with a panty-wetting grin that had me running that shit back one more time. Something about him felt familiar, but I knew that I didn’t know this man from a can of paint so I was buggin’. That didn’t stop me from having a little what if moment with myself before rolling my eyes and closing the app so I could get back to work. But not before I’d shared the TikTok with Ava. When my phone rang a mere three minutes later, I shouldn’t have been surprised.

“So naturally you’re going to find this man tonight, yes?” were Ava’s first words when the FaceTime call connected.

“What happened to… hello? How are you? My name is? What happened to that?” was my response and the both of us immediately busted out laughing at me meeting her greeting with a popular TikTok sound. We clearly spent way too much time on the app.

“Hey, baby. How much more do you have to go before you’re on your way here?” Ava asked.

“One last bin, then I’m gonna run my car over to Cade’s so I can park it in their garage. There’s nothing of value in my car for real, but I don’t want anyone to get any ideas if they peek in the backseat and see all of the boxes and what not, you know?”

“Mmmhmm. So you want me to pick you up from Cade’s?”

I shook my head. “Jeanine is gonna drop me at your loft, so we’re all good on that front. I’ll need a ride back over there though whenever I recover from tonight,” I finished, sticking my tongue between my teeth as I grinned.

“Right, back to the lecture at hand. Baby boy is fine fine, Ri. You can’t tell me that you aren’t tempted to keep your eyes peeled when we’re at Bling in tonight.”

I held up a hand and ticked off my fingers as I spoke. “One—didn’t you tell me this was a franchise? Who’s to say he’s gonna be at our Bling in party. Two—tonight is supposed to be a bestie turnup. And three—girl you really think I’m gonna be yet another thirst bucket in a Flavor of Love style gauntlet challenge to win this man over? Wow, it be ya own bestie…”

“Wow, whatever happened to your sense of adventure? Your sense of competition?” Ava replied, giggling.

“Now you know damn well I don’t chase, I lie in wait,” I shot back, joining in her laughter.

“And on that note, I’m out. Please make sure you get here quickly because I actually wanna be on time for this party so I can attack the seafood towers before gen pop gets their grubby hands on them.”

“I thought we were in VIP?” I asked.

“We are, but that doesn’t mean some rapscallions won’t find a way to get their asses beyond the velvet ropes.”

Rapscallions? I was always taken so off guard when Ava brought a word out of her vocabulary that gave the impression that she was a modern negro Brontë sister.

“Okay, sis. Let me finish up here and I’ll see you soon.”

“Later, baby!”

I started going through the final bin and once again found myself distracted when I came across some more photo albums. With full and earned arrogance I could say that I really was a cute ass kid. When I came across a photoset that looked like I was a flower girl in somebody’s wedding, I was hella confused because I couldn’t recall ever doing so. Flipping further through the book, I came across some more photos of me and who I assumed to be the ring bearer holding hands. We were adorable as hell, two cute lil chocolate drops outfitted in all white. I squinted, trying to make out the face of the ring bearer to see if that would give me any clue as to whose wedding this was. After a couple moments, I gave up the ghost, instead choosing to go find my mother and see if she could provide some insight.

“Ma, whose wedding was I in?” I asked, walking into the room where she was packing up the last of a few scattered items into a box marked donations.

“Huh?” she asked, face scrunched up as she turned in my direction.

“These pictures,” I said, holding the photo album toward her.

She grabbed it from me, flipped a couple pages, then began chuckling.

“Oh, baby you weren’t in a wedding. It was your wedding.” 

“Ma, say what now?”

“Oh I’d forgotten all about this,” she said as she kept paging through, squealing with delighted laughter. “Chile you know you always had a flair for the dramatic. You remember the Williamsons who used to live next door to us?”

I frowned as I wracked my brain to remember, but ended up just shaking my head.

“They didn’t live over there long, but you and their little boy Armon were thick as thieves from the moment you first met. And when you found out that they were moving you insisted on staging this wedding because if he was your husband then he would have to stay. We put together a little ceremony to appease you, but whew, baby you cried the block into a flood when you realized that it was all for show because they ended up leaving regardless.”

“Why do I have no recollection of any of this?” I replied amusedly.

“Oh baby doll, I have no idea. Though it was a bit traumatic for you. Perhaps you just suppressed the memory,” Ma cajoled.

I rolled my eyes and laughed. “Okay, girl. You almost done in here?” She and I had ridden over together. Once we were all done,  I was dropping her off, retrieving my things to get ready at Ava’s, then dropping my car at Cade’s.

“Yes, ma’am. We can leave this box here since your daddy is gonna come by and load everything up to take down to the secondhand shop in a few days. Thank you so much for helping me get this all together, baby doll. You know I appreciate you more than words can express.”

“You say that like I had a choice,” I joked, then quickly corrected once I saw Ma’s face starting to frown up. “You know I’m always down to help you, ol’ lady.”

“Aht aht, watch who you callin’ old, lil girl? I’m the one who makes sure your daddy can still keep it up,” she replied.

“Ma,” I dragged out with a groan.

“Hey, you brought that answer on yourself,” she replied with a shrug and a grin.

With that I went to collect the last of my things from my former childhood bedroom, then we headed out.

Once I got to Ava’s, I was feeling overcome by the festive mood that the end of the year always sparked in me. I loved thinking about the experiences of the past three sixty-five and what they’d taught me before we moved into a fresh set of days, ripe with lessons, blessings, and all sorts of unknown adventure. The sounds of the disco horse blared through Ava’s in-house system as she and I stood shoulder to shoulder putting the finishing touches on our hair and makeup for the evening. As we finished, Ava took a step back giving me a once over then turning back to blow herself a kiss in the mirror before saying, “I now pronounce us two bad bitches! Let’s get it!”

Her infectious energy always turned me up, so I followed her out of her vanity room and out into the living room, hyping her up along the way as we danced—popping and twirling and swirling to every rhythmic measure of the music before silencing it on our way out of the door. She’d hired a black car service to drive us to the party in style and it was stocked with a freshly uncorked bottle of Beau Joie. The drive to the venue where the party was being held wasn’t long, but Ava commandeered the aux of the car so we could continue our disco horse soiree as we sipped fine bubbly. It felt like a waste that we’d each only had a flute’s worth of the pricey champagne before we needed to get out of the car and Ava agreed, snagging the bottle and carrying it as an accessory as we took photos on the red carpet leading into the party.

That alone should have let me know I was in for a memorable night. The VIP section of the party was lit as hell. Getting there early to attack the aforementioned seafood towers was a good call on Ava’s part. We gorged ourselves on king crab, shrimp, and oysters as we sipped nothing but champagne for the majority of the night. I even tried caviar for the first time—not really for me—and felt decadent as hell. Just like in that sizzle reel TikTok I’d seen earlier in the day there was no shortage of fine ass people in attendance at this party. That felt damn near like a requirement as the night carried on and I kept seeing fine ass after fine ass. 

Ava and I were mainstays on the dancefloor, dancing either with one another or whatever handsome faced stranger found the invitation that our constantly winding hips offered too alluring to resist. The music was all over the place, but in the best ways possible. I heard songs I’d completely forgotten about from my youth deftly weaved into contemporary hits with ease. The only time I was off the dance floor was if me or Ava needed to refresh our drinks or to catch a breath of fresh air since it was getting pretty thick up in here the nearer we drew to the midnight hour.

Intermittently that man from the TikTok looking for his future wife popped into my mind as I looked at the crowd around me. I bet he hadn’t realized just how many damned people would be trying to Bling in the New Year alongside him when he’d put out that little video. Or hell, maybe that had been its purpose after all, drumming up some last minute excitement as marketing to entice more people to be in the place to be. Despite the bevy of fine I’d seen thus far, that particular brand of fine had yet to come in my purview. Not that I was looking for him in specific or anything.

When we were moments away from the countdown, I looked around to try and find Ava. I’d lost track of her when I was deep in my moment of telling folks to move out the way because me and my girls needed space. Once that song wound down and I still hadn’t laid eyes on her, I was getting a bit worried. I did a lap around the party, starting with the bar area to see if she was getting a refresh. No such luck so I headed toward the bathrooms. I could hear the DJ on the mic saying we were in the last minute of the year as begin his countdown from sixty. Around forty-five seconds, I’d found Ava, tucked deep into a corner with one of the broad-shouldered fines that had been circling us earlier in the evening.

Happy New Year to you, sis!

Not wanting to disturb that groove, I did a swift about face, trying to head into the opposite direction to join the now screaming throng of people counting down from twenty. Instead I was met with a face full of solid flesh. I pulled back instantly, apologies spilling from my lips as I rolled my eyes up to take in the face of the person who I’d run into.

“Ten, nine, eight…” the crowd roared as I stared into what was now a familiar face.

“It’s you,” I breathed as our eyes locked.

“Four, three, two…”

As the numbers descended, so did the stranger’s face, drawing closer to mine and capturing the gasp of surprise right off of my mouth as his pillowy soft lips collided with mine. I felt no urge to push him away as I got swept up into the passion that he imbued via little nibbles and nips at my lower lip until I opened up and invited his tongue inside to tangle with mine. He pulled back and I opened my eyes, feeling more drunk from this kiss than any of the champagne that I’d imbibed all evening. 

With an impish lift of one, scar-bisected brow, his lips curved into a smirk before he said, “Happy New Year, future wife.”

Return to Ragston: A Winterborne Wedding

I stood next to Charli and the rest of the bridal party as the DJ announced the arrival of Mr. and Mrs. Seth Gardiner and the happy couple entered the reception space. Rocki’s face was the epitome of happiness and I turned to nudge Charli to comment on it, but her face was marred by a grimace. I guessed she was having another one of the Braxton Hicks cramps that had been plaguing her all morning. Poor thing, I thought as Wesley leaned over to speak into her ear before they both took off in different directions.

Soon my attention was pulled from Charli and Wes to the dancefloor where Rocki and Seth were having their first dance. As they swayed to the music, I couldn’t help but grin broadly. The love that radiated between the two of them was palpable and contagious if the looks on the faces of everyone around me was any indication.

“I know we’re supposed to think the bride is the baddest woman in the room today, but you are wearing that dress, baby,” Roosevelt said, coming up behind me and wrapping me in a loose embrace.

I giggled before turning around so that we were face to face, “You don’t look too shabby either, mister.”

Since he wasn’t in the wedding, we’d been split up for the majority of the day, so it felt good to finally be wrapped in his arms once again. We swayed to the music of Rock and Seth’s first dance, completely engrossed in one another that we’d kept right on dancing when the music faded into something a bit quicker. Roosevelt opened his mouth to say something, but then there was a loud commotion in the hall just outside the room in which the reception was being held. Rocki and Seth blew past us to investigate whatever was going on out there and I was immediately on their heels. When we got into the hall, Charli was in Wes’ arms as he carried her.

“Her water just broke,” Wes said, “We’re on our way to the hospital.”

Rocki and I immediately jumped into action, with Charli weakly protesting for us to keep on enjoying their reception. But there was no way on earth we could have gone forward with partying the night away while our girl was in the throes of labor, so we—myself, Roosevelt, Roxanne, and Seth—piled into a limo and followed Wes and Charli to the hospital. The ride in the limo was quiet, all of us lost in our own worlds. Charli wasn’t due for another six weeks, so the littlest diva making her entre into the world today had us a bit worried.

I gnawed on my lip, trying not to yell at the driver to get to the hospital quicker—red lights and traffic laws were of no importance in my mind, currently. I just wanted to get to my friend and make sure she, her husband, and newborn would be okay. When we arrived at the hospital, we were greeted by Charli and Wes’ parents, as well as Charli’s grandma Honey, who’d somehow beat us all there. There wasn’t any update on her labor progression as we walked in, so we sat, waiting for an update from either the staff or Wesley at some point.

“Hey,” Roosevelt said, soothingly, pressing a kiss to my forehead, “I’m sure everything will be just fine.”

I smiled weakly, praying that his words would be all right, but still tense as hell until a nurse came and gave us an update. Charli was definitely in real life labor, dilated about halfway. We all sat, absentmindedly watching tv with intermittent updates from the nurses. I texted Grace to let her know that Charli had gone into labor and she came up to the hospital to bring Roosevelt and I more comfortable clothes to change into as we settled in for the long haul.

Around ten o’clock I got a little restless, so I convinced Roosevelt to get up with me and take a quick walk.

“Hey,” I said, tapping Rocki on the shoulder as we passed her, “I’ll be right back—text me if the baby comes before I come back!”

“I got you, boo,” she replied, laughing.

Roosevelt and I wandered aimlessly around the hospital before ending right back up in the maternity ward staring at a room filled with random equipment that had a large picture window. I assumed that this used to be the nursery area like the ones you’d see on television, through which folks could view newborns. I stopped just aside the room, leaning on the wall and heaving a sigh.

“Hey…what’s going on with you?” Roosevelt asked, “You’ve been kinda…off since we got here to Ragston. Did something happen with your folks?”

I shook my head, “No, nothing like that. They actually want us to come by for dinner one night before we get outta here.”

Since we were in town for the wedding, Roosevelt and I were staying at the Winterborne instead of at my sister’s place. My relationship with my parents was still in the very early stages of being mended, and I knew that while we were working to get to a place where we could resume being as normal a family as possible—there was no way on Jehovah’s green earth that they were going to let an unmarried Roosevelt and I share a room under their roof.

“Okay,” Roosevelt pushed out slowly, “So…what is it?”

“Do you want kids?” I blurted.

Despite having gotten increasingly closer as our relationship progressed, this was one subject we’d never broached directly. We both made references to our lives together in the future, speaking as if marriage was a certainty, not just a possibility. But the subject of children hadn’t been one that we’d talk about in depth. And quite frankly, I’d been…hesitant to broach the subject, namely because the last man that I thought would be my forever and the father of my children ended up being the biggest dud. So, I called myself not putting too many eggs in the Roosevelt basket, trying to play it cool. I didn’t want him to think I was applying pressure; didn’t want him to cut and run if I was coming on too strong.

Roosevelt smiled, the appearance of his twin dimples immediately sending frissons of heat through my body, “Yeah, I can definitely see myself being a dad. Getting it right, you know? Being as good to them as my grandparents were to me. Yeah, I can definitely see convincing you to pop out about four or five of my lil nappyheaded babies, no doubt.”

My face heated at the sureness of his tone that his hypothetical children would be a result of our union. Biting back a grin, I spoke again, “I…wasn’t always so sure I wanted to be a mom, you know? I just knew that it what was expected of me should I ever get married and I mean…I’m not opposed to it, but honestly the thought of motherhood scares the shanana out of me, babe. And seeing Charli go into labor this early…I am…this…whew, this is a lot.”

“Hey,” Roosevelt said, gathering me in his arms, “Just know that whenever and however our time comes, I got you. No matter what, I got you, okay baby?”

I nodded before sinking further into his embrace as he pressed a kiss to my forehead. We stood there for a few moments in silence before I spoke again.

“Roosevelt?” I said, pulling back so I could peer up into his eyes.

“Emerson?” he prompted when I said nothing further.

“I’m pregnant.”

A few seconds—that honestly felt like hours—passed with us staring at one another silently before I blurted out, “Well…you gotta say something!”

“You’re having my baby?” Roosevelt asked, awe coating his words.

“According to the sixteen over the counter pregnancy tests and the urine and blood tests at my doctor’s office it seems that way.”

“Sixteen?” Roosevelt chuckled.

“I needed to be sure!” I exclaimed, unable to contain a few giggles myself.

“To the point of compulsion, obviously. Wow.”

“Is that a good or bad wow?” I asked, gnawing at my lower lip, trying to play it cool.

I was kind of vexed that he’d not responded to this news with any sort of extreme emotion—good or bad. That made me a little nervous…oh heck, who was I kidding it made me extremely nervous. We were in a good space in our relationship, but that didn’t mean that this news would continue to keep us in that space.

Roosevelt reached out to stop me from gnashing my bottom lip to the white meat, capturing my mouth in a sweetly soft kiss.

“It’s an extremely shocked and in awe, but utterly grateful wow, baby,” he replied when we pulled back from the kiss.

“Yeah?” I asked, softly.

“Hell yeah! I mean, it isn’t ideal because I’d planned on putting a lil somethin’ somethin’ here,” he said, lacing our hands together and squeezing my ring finger, “before we made any little Emros, but nothing about our relationship so far has been traditional, so…you know. But hey…how long have you been holding onto this?”

I lowered my head, breaking our eye contact. I’d found out almost a month ago, but hadn’t breathed a word of it to anyone, but Miss Denise. She and I had grown increasingly closer over the past year and I looked at her as a maternal figure of sorts. Those first positives on the home pregnancy tests had me completely shook and she happened to stop by my house to bring over some plants she’d been telling me that I needed to brighten my place up—despite me telling her that I had a brown thumb. When I answered the door shell shocked, she immediately knew something was wrong. And just like she got me together in that darn club bathroom, she pulled me out of my stupor about being pregnant, reminding me of how much of a blessing it was to be a mother—distracting me with tales of each time she found out that she was pregnant with one of her girls. She and I talked for at least four or five hours that day as I went back and forth between being scared out of my mind and feeling completely blessed to be on the cusp of building a family with the man that I loved with everything in me.

“Ummm…” I hedged.

“So, a while,” Roosevelt replied, his grin replaced by a brief grimace, before he continued, “Baby…”

“I know…believe me when I say, it had nothing to do with you. I just…I needed some time to get used to it…I mean the idea of being pregnant and eventually being someone’s mama. And honestly? I was all right with it and planned on telling you before we came here, but then it was time for us to come out here and…”

“Emerson, you’re rambling,” Roosevelt cut me off, “I’m not upset, baby. Just…I want you to know you don’t have to keep anything…and I mean any-damn-thing from me. Whatever you’re facing, I’m here for you and we will handle together, okay?”

I nodded.

“Good…now that we’ve got that understood, baby mama,” Roosevelt said, “I hope that besides Miss Denise, no one else knew this before me.”

I giggled, shaking my head, “Nope, baby daddy. I had to tell you before I burst. I certainly didn’t expect for us to be on a maternity ward when I broke the news, but…here we are.”

“Wait…but you were drinking this weekend?”

I shook my head, “I had sparkling water or juice all weekend. I gave off the appearance of drinking like everyone else, but don’t play me. I wouldn’t ever endanger our baby like that.”

“I like the sound of that,” Roosevelt said, grinning.

“That I wouldn’t give our child fetal alcohol syndrome. Dang, baby, you think that little of—” I said before Roosevelt cut me off.

“Nah…I like the sound of those two words in succession—our baby,” Roosevelt said, the grin on his face spreading even more broadly.

I was powerless to stop myself from cheesing just as widely, immensely grateful and thankful for this moment, his reaction, our connection—everything.

“Yeah…I do, too.”

“Aight, lil mama, let’s get back over to the waiting room with everyone. See about this new lil baby that’s on the horizon. Hey…when are you gonna tell the other Divas? About our little one?”

“I had planned on telling them before Seth and Rocki took off on their honeymoon, but I also hadn’t planned on Charli going into labor so early, so…I might just wait until things calm down a little bit more,” I said, leading Roosevelt back into the direction of the waiting room by the hand.

“Wait…before we go…” he said, bending in front of me onto one knee.

My hands flew to my mouth, “Roose—”

 “Not yet, mama. I just wanted to get up close and personal with my baby,” he said, shaking his head and placing one of his large palms across my belly as he leaned in to press soft kiss to the nonexistent bump and whispered a few words that had my breath catching in my throat as I tried not to burst into tears.

He straightened up after chatting with the baby for a couple minutes, and then grabbed my hand, leading me back toward the waiting room, “Now we can go rejoin everyone.”

About an hour after we rejoined everyone, Charli and Wes’ new little bundle of joy made her entry into the world. Born at 12:01am New Year’s Day, Celestial Elaine Philips was the spitting image of Charli, the cutest little thing I’d ever seen. When we were allowed to go into the room to see mama and baby, Wes was cradling his baby girl, looking down at her with awe etched into his features.

“Congratulations, Wes,” I said, “She is a beautiful addition to the REC Shop Divas.”

“She really is,” he replied, with a note of wistfulness in his tone.

I left him to be continued to be bewitched by his brand-new baby girl before checking on Charli. She was knocked out, which was to be expected since she’d definitely exerted herself tonight bringing new life into the world.

“Congratulations, mama Charli,” I said, bending down to kiss her on the forehead before leaving their little family to bond and adjust to life going forward.

Having been up since early in the morning before the wedding ceremony I was darn near dead on my feet, so Roosevelt saying that he’d had our rental delivered to the hospital while we were waiting was music to my ears. Even though we’d ridden over here with Roxanne and Seth, it was still their wedding day and they deserved a bit of alone time as they began their honeymoon. Roosevelt recognized that when he made the arrangements for us to have alternate transportation back to the hotel and I was once again blown away by his intuitive nature.

The hospital wasn’t but a short ride from the inn, where we were staying, but I knocked out almost as soon as I buckled my seatbelt. The extreme fatigue was the only real change in my body with this pregnancy so far. The doctor said that I’d been extremely lucky to not have experienced any of the nausea that usually comes with the first trimester of pregnancy. I was just over ten weeks along, coming up on the end of the first trimester and, knock on wood, so far so good.

I awakened in the wee hours of the morning all tangled up with Emerson, despite having not slept no more than three or four hours if the time on the bedside clock was actually right. My hands resting on her belly reminded me of the bomb that she dropped on me last night. Holy shit, I thought, in a few short months I’m about to be a father. Unbidden, I felt the grin spread across my face before I could even stop it. Emerson had been acting downright weird over the past few weeks, but I thought it was due to the promotion she’d received at work and the added responsibility that came along with it. She was so wound up—tense all the time and I tried my damndest to make sure I relaxed her at any possible juncture. I can’t front…it was a little rough in the beginning before I finally moved back out to LA. Emerson was moody, short-fused, and ill-tempered the entire time that we were long distance. But my arm chair shrink PhD instantly diagnosed her behavior as a side effect of insecurity, borne of the mess she’d gotten out of with that Bobby fool.

That nigga better be lucky that I loved Emerson and my child-to-be entirely too much to find him and fuck up him, permanently because I swear, I had to deal with the ghost of him and the after effects of his manipulation of my girl a little too long for my liking. Luckily, we were past all of that now, but he could still get this work if I saw him in the streets. Moving back to LA was…interesting considering I’d waved the white flag and conceded defeat not more than six months earlier. Ryan insisted that while I could do my job from virtually anywhere, he much preferred me in LA, where the label’s home base was so that I could liaise with other folks within the label easier when it came to facilitating things for my artists. My girl being out there made it a no brainer, but I decided that if I was gonna do this for real, I was going all in. So, it took me a few months to get my things settled in Chicago before leaving again—for good. I was positive that my job was going to be the catalyst for my blast onto the music scene. I knew that nothing short of a catastrophic event was tearing me away from Emerson. All signs pointed towards LA being where I would land and stay forever.

Nat was salty, she’d assumed that when I moved back home that I would be there for good, settling into a life that was just okay. But I couldn’t let that be my fate. Not after I’d worked so hard to leave a broader impact on this world. And…damn, leaving an impact on the world was an understatement when it came to being a parent. For that kid, I’d be his or her whole world for a great while…which, honestly had me scared as shit. I mean, I had the greatest example in my grandparents, but what if I had some of those latent tendencies of my dad lying dormant, waiting to be activated by the birth of my own seed.

“Mmmm, you look deep in thought,” Emerson murmured, peering up at me through half raised lids.

I hadn’t even noticed that she’d awakened and had turned in my embrace, molding her body to mine even further.

“Just thinking about you, baby mama. And how grateful I am for you. I love you,” I said, kissing her softly.

Her eyes brightened, the way they did every time I uttered those three words, as if she was shocked that I really did love her. Loved the damn girl to distraction.

“I love you, too, baby daddy,” she giggled, as I nuzzled her neck, raining soft kisses down the column to her collarbone.

Emerson sighed softly as I rolled her onto her back, bracing my weight on my forearms as I hovered above her. She looked so damned beautiful—hair all over her head because she’d said screw a scarf last night. Fresh-faced because no matter how tired she was, she washed her face nightly—especially when she’d been in heavier make up than she normally wore. Her hands cupped my face, bringing my mouth down to hers for a sweet kiss that soon turned fiery as she traced the seam of my lips, begging for her tongue’s entrance into my mouth. I opened instantly, deepening the kiss as Emerson purred in delight. With hands as rapacious as my tongue, I quickly undressed both of us and slid into Emerson’s warmth.

“Mmmmmm,” Emerson moaned as I doled out slow strokes combined with lingering kisses on the tops of her breasts, “Sheesh Ro…you feel so good.”

I chuckled, picking up the pace of my strokes because she felt too damned good to keep slow stroking it, “Nah, that’s all you. You and this pregnant pussy bout to make me a one-minute man.”

Emerson gasped, then giggled as she clenched tightly around me, “That feel good to you baby?”

I groaned, burying my face in her neck as I pounded into her. She knew good and damn hell it felt good to me, hell that was how we got in this predicament in the first place now that I thought about it. We’d met Nat and Kiki out in Vegas for Nat’s birthday and a little too much drinking and…other substancing led to us playing a little loosey goosey with the condoms while we were away. Emerson had taken a Plan B pill after our oops, and I assumed that was enough, but clearly not so much. She’d felt like heaven on earth when I was buried deep within her while elevated, but stone cold sober? Shit, this pussy was good enough for her to ask me to do anything and I’d do it. If this is what I had to look forward to for the next seven months, she ws going to have a hard time keeping me off of her.

“Ro…mmmmmmm,” Emerson moaned again, in a decidedly high putch than before which signaled to me that she was near climaxing. I slowed the tempo of my strokes again, teasing her with incremental withdrawals, then slowly sliding into her wetness, damn near cumming myself because she was dripping with it. Her hands slid down my back, nails driving into my ass cheeks as she panted in my ear for me to stop teasing her and fuck her faster and harder.

Who was I to deny her pleasure? Or my own? I stopped teasing her and built up my speed again, slipping and sliding into her more and more rapidly, spurred on by the high-pitched yelps and squeaks she emitted. Her thighs trembled as she tumbled into release, clasping around me in a tight grip, sending me blasting off right behind her. Gingerly, I lowered myself onto her body—still inside of her, but with my weight braced on my arms so I wouldn’t crush her. I just…wasn’t ready to no longer be enveloped by her depths quite yet.

Emerson sighed contentedly, urging me to rest my full weight upon her.

I lifted a brow, “The baby?”

“Wants his daddy close too?”

“Wait,” I said, finally pulling out and laying down beside her, but still remaining as close as possible, “You already know the sex of the baby?”

Emerson giggled, “No, not officially…but I’ve been feeling some masculine energy up in here.”

“Well, I mean…” I started.

“Not like that, silly. Call it mommy’s intuition or whatever, but I feel like I’m cooking little Roosevelt the Fourth up in here,” she said, still giggling.

“Ugh, I groaned, “we’re going to dead that legacy if you are carrying my son. I know that much.”

“You wouldn’t wanna name him after you, babe?” Emerson asked, genuinely curious, “Why not?”

“The name comes with a burden I’d rather not have little man endure, you know?” I said.

Emerson was quiet for a few moments before murmuring an answer in the affirmative.

“You know we won’t be like them, right?” she said suddenly, “Like our parents? We know better so we’ll do better.”

“You sound very certain about that,” I said, skeptically.

“I’ve had a little longer to sit with it than you, but you’ll get there eventually,” Emerson replied soberly, “I’m serious though. We’re going to get this right, baby. Or die trying.”

I looked down at her and there was a ghost of a smile playing around her lips, but her eyes looked serious and filled with worry. I shook my head, clearing it of the thoughts that were swirling around that were the exact opposite of the words that Emerson spoke aloud. Leaning down to kiss her softly I replied, “You’re right, baby…we’re gonna kill this parenting thing.”

We were at my parents’ house, having lunch with them, Grace, Tamia and Ted before we headed back to LA. The guys had gone off to watch some sports game and us women sat around in the kitchen snacking on my mom’s famous sweet potato pie and catching up on general gossip. This morning before we left come over here, I told Roosevelt that I wanted to tell them that I was with child. He wanted to make it a whole thing where we told the whole family at once, but I definitely didn’t want my dad to have a flashback and freak out about us expecting a child with no ring in sight. So, we compromised on me just telling Grace and then the both of us sitting down with my parents before we left.

But then as my mother sat here, not so subtly dropping hints about hoping that this thing between Roosevelt and I not turning into the situation I had with Bobby dragging our relationship out for over five years and us not ending up in marriage I’d had enough.

“Well, even if we don’t work out, mommy, we’ll be tied together for at least the next eighteen years if not for the rest of the time we’re both on this earth,” I snapped.

The room fell silent as Mommy, Grace, and Tamia all gaped at me open mouthed. I lowered my head to my hands, frustrated that I’d let her comments get to me and lead me to blurting that out like that.

“Nay…you let the axe murderer knock you up!” Grace screeched at the same time Tamia squealed, “You’re gonna have a baby, Tee?!”

“I really wish you’d stop calling him the axe murdered, Gracie,” I sighed.

“Oh please, you know jokes trump facts in my world, baby sis. You might as well get used to it. Ro’s forever the axe murderer. And apparently he’s been out here murdering that axe wound…”

“Yoooooo, chill,” I said, laughing, “Mommy is right here!”

“And so is your daughter, Grace, jeez,” Mommy said, scandalized, “My goodness, can you act like I raised you to have a crumb of sense about yourself?”

Grace said nothing, merely raised her hands in a shrug as she laughed.

“Yes, Shug, I’m having a baby,” I said to Tamia who looked like she was trying to figure out what her mom was talking about being murdered.

“That’s so cool, Tee! I’ve been trying to convince my mom to have a baby for like five years because I hate being the youngest,” Tamia gushed.

Beyond chastising Grace, my mother had yet to say anything about my revelation.

“Mommy?” I said, peering at her.

She sat, mouth still agape, eyes glossed over with a sheen of unshed tears, “My baby’s having a baby?”

The tears she’d been trying to hold at bay, spilling over as I nodded, feeling my own eyes well up. She yelped, jumping up and coming over to embrace me. We both rocked back and forth, crying tears of happiness as Grace crowed loudly about how she was gonna spoil Tete’s baby. Soon the men came into the room, the ruckus we were making drawing them back into the dining room to see what was going on. I met Roosevelt’s eyes over my mother’s shoulder and he just shook his head.

“I should have known you wouldn’t be able to hold water,” he laughed, before asking my father to step into his study so they could talk.

“Babe, wait,” I said, shrugging out of my mother’s embrace and trying to follow him.

Roosevelt turned back, raising a hand, “It’s aight baby, I got this.”

My father looked puzzled as ever but led the way into his study. About fifteen minutes later both men reemerged and my father made a beeline to me, wrapping me in a tight embrace, kissing me on the forehead.

“Congratulations, baby girl,” he whispered tightly, shocking the hell out of me.

Pretty soon all of the emotion had me wrung out and ready to lay it down, so we said our goodbyes to my family and headed back to our room at the Winterborne. Not even bothering to do more than remove my shoes, I collapsed onto the bed wanting to take a nap before we were set to head over to the Philips’ to see Charli, Wes and Baby Celestial this evening. Seth and Rocki were still in the area too before they were heading to their honeymoon in the Maldives, so this would be our last little hurrah all together. Our flight out in the morning was pretty early, so the plan was to bring them dinner, and have a nice chill night before we headed back to the hectic mess that was our life back home in LA. No sooner than my head hit the pillow, I was completely out, only awakening when Roosevelt softly shook me out of slumber so that we could make our way to see our friends.

I got up, refreshed myself and then followed Roosevelt out to our rental to make our way over to Charli and Wes’ house. He had been acting strangely since I’d awakened, and I was nervous that he was upset with how everything shook out with telling my family about the baby. I wasn’t sure how to bring it up because I didn’t want us to bring tension into our gathering with everyone. I reached over and squeezed Roosevelt’s hand that was holding onto the gear shaft as he drove. He glanced over briefly, shooting me one of those panty wetting grins and I immediately knew that he was fine…and we were okay. When we reached Charli and Wes’ I moved to get out of the car, but Roosevelt stopped me.

“So, you know how you were waiting for the right time to tell me about the baby before we came here but could never seem to find it?” he said.

I nodded, not quite sure where this question would lead us.

“I’d also been holding something back from you that I couldn’t seem to figure out the timing about. But then a wise man told me that timing means nothing when you know what you want so…” Roosevelt said, reaching into the pocket of his jacket and retrieving a ring box, “Emerson Renee Parker, will you do me the honor of being my wife in addition to being my baby mama?”

My mouth dropped, wholly surprised because this was the last thing I’d expected.

“Roosevelt…I…”

“This isn’t a knee jerk reaction to you telling me you’re pregnant or anything, babe. Your dad didn’t pull out the shotgun when he and I chatted, quite the opposite actually. I’d been carrying this ring around for weeks and was going to seek his blessing when we came to town for the wedding anyway, but…”

“YES!” I shouted over his little speech, not giving a care in the world about anything else but letting the man of my dreams know that I wasn’t going to let him go any time soon.

“Yes?” he asked, shell shocked.

I nodded my answer, tears streaming down my face, unable to vocalize anything as I held out my hand for him to slip the ring onto. The ring was beautiful and simplistic, a princess cut solitaire on a rose gold band. He slid the ring onto my finger and I gaped at it in awe, then drew him into me for a kiss that said all of the words my teeth and tongue couldn’t seem to work in conjunction to expel from my mouth.

Breaking apart, Roosevelt rested his forehead against mine, “This is the best start to a new year that I’ve had in a long time.”

“Ditto, baby. Ditto.”

Let's Take a Ride...

Okay. So...This idea popped into my head a few days ago because I thought it'd be a cute thing. If you've read AY, this is a brief peek at the Baellis origin story. :) Hope you enjoy!

&&&

“It was blue and silver, with three silver swings.”

“Babe, aren’t men supposed to be the ones prone to colorblindness? It was white and green with two white swings and a teeter-totter thing.”

“Oh my God, Ellis. The damn thing was in my backyard for sixteen years of my life. I think I know what color it was.”

“I’m telling you, you’re wrong.”

“I distinctly remember me, Ev, and Cade being able to swing at the same time while you sat off to the side too cool to play with the ‘babies’ as you termed us. So not only are you colorblind, but also revisionist.”

“You’re wrong. Point blank. In fact, I’m not even going to argue anymore because that’s how right I am.”

We were in my car, driving…well, nowhere in particular. We’d developed cabin fever after being inside on our Netflix and chill steez over this long weekend; so I suggested we take a ride. No real destination in mind, just us, the open road and apparently, a disagreement. I’d looked down and saw a half crescent moon shaped scar on Ellis’ knee that I hadn’t noticed before and asked him to tell me about how it got there. He reminded me that he got it from my childhood swing set, trying to do tricks and failing to stick the landing. A swing set he clearly misremembered as we were now arguing about the color of the set, the original point of the story forgotten.

“I know how we can solve this.”

I pressed the voice command button in my steering wheel.

Please say a command after the tone.

“Call Cadence Garner, mobile.”

Calling Cadence Garner mobile.

As the phone began to ring, Ellis said, “Wait. You have CadyMac in your phone as not only her full government, but the old one? My god, girl, when’s the last time you updated your contacts?”

“Are we seriously having this conversation? Or are you tryna distract me so I don’t remember why I called her in the first place so you can claim your flimsy ass memory is right?”

“I just wanna know…why so formal?”

“Uhhh…hello?” Cadence said.

We were so busy going back and forth that I hadn’t even noticed she’d picked up.

“Hey boo. So I’m in the car with Ellis…”

“Obviously,” she interrupted.

Ellis began, “Will you please tell your friend…”

“Nope, nope. Hush, boy. I’m telling her because you’re going to…”

“Y’all. Seriously. What is it? I’ma kinda in the middle of something right now?” Cadence broke in.

“You remember my swing set when we lived in Mayview? What color was it?”

“Green and silver.”

“Cade! Seriously? IT WAS BLUE.”

Ellis said nothing, just sat there smirking at me.

“Nope, it was green because I remember Uncle painted over the blue to green because that was your favorite color.”

“I’m right because I said it was blue, Ellis.”

“It was blue for all of 12 hours…green the rest of our lives. I won.”

“Cade…did it have two swings or three?”

“Y’all seriously have nothing better to do right now, huh? I was lying down, relaxing. Something told me not to answer this call, but then I said ‘well self, maybe she finally done climbed off the dick long enough to check in with her miserable second trimester having pregnant friend to see how she’s doing’. But nah…y’all are having the world’s silliest argument and decided to interrupt my rest for it.”

“Thanks, CadyMac. Talk to you later,” Ellis said, reaching over to press the end call button on my steering wheel.

“Why’d you hang up on her? I’m gonna have to hear about that later.”

“Because my girlfriend drives even more like a bat outta hell when she’s riled up and I wanna live to see thirty-five…and she was about the wild the fuck out on us. One sassy mouthed woman a day is my limit.”

I looked down at the speedometer and realized that I was doing over 80mph. I eased off the accelerator; taking note to see we had crossed state lines and were less than 30 miles from a lakeside tourist trap town. I’d never explored the area before, but figured while we were here…

“Point taken. Hey, you wanna take an adventure with me?” 

Ellis reached for the hand I wasn’t driving with and laced our fingers together. He dropped a light kiss on my hand and answered, “Aren’t we on one now?”

I rolled my eyes, “We’re on a drive. I said adventure. So…you game?”

“Always.”

“Just like that? You trust me?”

“Undoubtedly. With my life. Except when you’re nervous, excited or angry and driving.”

I felt my face warming at his first response. I’m certain if I were a few shades lighter, he would have noticed my blush.

“Hush, I’m not that bad! I was only ten over the limit.”

“Babe, are your math skills as bad as your memory? Speed limit is sixty-five, you were going eighty. That’s fifteen over.”

“Yeah, but like really only ten.”

“The emphasis on really. Ok, I wanna hear this. How is fifteen really only ten?”

“The no ticket buffer zone.”

“The what?”

“No ticket buffer zone. When my daddy was teaching me to drive on the e-way initially, he told me about it. You get five miles over the speed limit as a freebie, but anything after that could be ticketed. So like, if I got stopped it woulda only been a ten miles or less speeding ticket fine.”

“Bee. That’s…that’s not a thing. You can get a ticket for going a mile over if the cop out that day is that petty.”

“Oh…well that explains the other thing daddy taught me that day, then. How to cry on command,” I said, winking at Ellis.

“So where are we going on this adventure?”

“You’ll see…” 

We were about fifteen miles out when Ellis asked where my phone was. 

“Center console.”

He grabbed it, unlocked, and proceeded to scroll through…

“What are you looking for? And how do you know my unlock code?”

“Really? Everyone knows your unlock code is your birthday. I’m looking through your contacts. I refuse to believe everyone is in your phone by their full government names. Even Auntie Im and your dad.”

He kept scrolling, pausing briefly to do something on the phone’s screen that I couldn’t see.

“What are you doing now?”

“You have your doctor in here by her full name? I never knew you were this anal, Bee.”

“Are you seriously scrolling my whole phonebook? Can you not?”

He placed my phone in the cup holder and asked, “You don’t want me to run across the names of any of your hoes, huh?”

“You damn right!”

We were quickly approaching the exit to the tourist trap’s main drag when my phone began to ring. I looked at the screen to see who was calling and saw it said Baellis. I immediately burst into screaming laughter.

“Seriously? I don’t even call you bae.”

“A little birdie told me that when I brought breakfast for you and your team three days ago that was…and I quote…bae as fuck. So…though it referenced my action, it was still in reference to me. Therefore…”

I rolled my eyes and smiled. “You are such a nerd.”

“You love my nerdy ass though.”

“Meh, you aight…” I replied, shrugging—trying to keep a smile off my face.