'your fave could never!': a mini-rant

hey y’all. so check it. i was sitting here on Beyoncé’s internet minding my business and not doing my work (I’d urge you to mind your business at the latter half of that fragment) when I saw something that made me pause for a moment as I cycled through being annoyed then upset then sad then back to annoyed. it was a book review (for whom is irrelevant) and in the course of the effusive praise the person was heaping on the author they began the review on a wrong (imo) note. juxtaposing the author they lauded against other authors for no discernible reason but to throw shade.

the title of my post is a a phrase my mouth (and fingers) has uttered many times, most often in jest. it’s a remnant of stan culture, a way to state that your favorite has exceeded expectations in their craft, with a product that’s beyond superior. it’s also a thing that kind of makes me hate a lot about “stan culture”. just moments ago i posted a status update on facebook that stated: We all have our faves, but I’m a firm believer in you do not have to tear another person down to prop your fave up.

obviously if i felt moved enough to type it on Janet Jackson’s internet, it’s a belief i hold near and dear to me. the more i sit with the thoughts that i had when i read that book review, the more i wish that more people held this same belief. i shoutout my faves all the time. to the rafters and through the rooftops because i am also a firm believer in the giving of roses while the recipient can smell them. but that juxtaposition thing…man is it a double edged sword.

comparison is a part of life, i get it. we all do it. i am not claiming to be exempt. however, when you set out to make these comparisons, your thoughts don’t always have to be loudly proclaimed for all to see. sometimes you can keep it in the group chat. particularly, if the comparisons carry a hint of shade.

jmo tho.